It's hard to make a healthy movement when standing in an unhealthy place. And by place, I mean the position you occupy in your family system. Is that position healthy, or perhaps unhealthy for you, causing you to remain stuck in the same pattern?
Fortunately, there are 'solutions' if you are willing to look. You cannot leave a family system, but you can possibly take a different place. So that you can live your own life with more freedom.
The first step to doing that is to see what is there. And by that, I mean REALLY SEEING WHAT IS THERE. The hard and sometimes painful truth of your system. A father who never gives you the recognition you need. A mother who is powerless. You wanting to carry everything out of loyalty. Or a deceased brother or sister who unconsciously still takes up so much space in the form of unspoken grief.
Seeing the truth.
Acknowledging the truth.
This is your family.
Parents give you what they can give, nothing more, nothing less.
That is step 1.
Seeing. Looking. Acknowledging. And feeling the pain that may accompany it. From that acknowledgment, you can start to move. A little further each time towards a place that is healthier and freer for you. A constellation is a beautiful tool to feel which place can be healing and liberating for you.
Step 2 moves on to full acceptance of that truth.
This is my family. And that's okay.
Easy sad, I know. But it's possible. Really.