In this post, some unsolicited advice for trainers and coaches on how to be a mirror and not become a plaything of your group or coachee.
Know your own triggers and patterns inside out. Know when and why you start pleasing, entertaining, or saving, and stay true to yourself when you notice yourself heading in that direction. I am not a fan of sharing that info with the group because you primarily want to create a safe space.
Do not take expressions from the group or the coachee personally, unless it is well-founded feedback coming from a healthy place. If you stay close to yourself, you can feel this and also articulate it. If you start taking things happening in the group personally, you lose yourself and become a plaything. Prevent this by knowing your own dynamics here as well, but also by keeping an eye on where the reproaches, feedback, or struggles of the individual and the group come from. Look through the behavior, as it were, and see what lies behind it.
A team is a group of individuals who all sit together within the team based on their own family dynamics and history. Keep an eye on this and write down what you see happening. How would you describe the culture, and what dynamics are associated with it? Let the group think about this themselves as well.
Keep it light as a trainer. And by that, I don't mean trivializing the problem, but focusing on successes and the good things that are happening. A team and a coachee often no longer see what is going well. Positive psychology provides scientific evidence that focusing on success, no matter how small, works better for personal development and growth
And. Remain critical of yourself, be aware of what belongs to the group and what belongs to you. And work on what is yours. Experience and understand your own patterns.
That makes you a more solid and pleasant trainer who can offer the right safety (because you have it within yourself) for the group and your coachee.
Success!
I see you!